


Memory Loss Eng version

by JooBeomie



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26317318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JooBeomie/pseuds/JooBeomie
Summary: It all started from an argument, because of a 20 minute delay.Was it really his fault that there was no network in the subway? Jaehyun could be so unreasonable sometimes...It's a translation of my french work. Sorry for all the mistakes ><
Relationships: Hong Joochan/Kim Jibeom
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. Chap01

Chap01

Jibeom stopped with his mouth open in front of Jaehyun. A visibly very angry Jaehyun who had just thrown his phone out the window.  
His cell phone.  
Through the window.  
It couldn’t have survived the fall.

_ At least now we can sleep!  
_ It was on mute! Immediately protested Jibeom. But you are sick!! You know how much this kind of phone costs? And I was speaking with Joochan!! How am I gonna do it now!  
_ Now you can sleep instead of giggling like a 15-year-old schoolgirl!  
_ I wasn’t giggling! And even if I had, what right do you have to decide to destroy my phone?!  
_ You were making noise!  
_ Do you feel right in your head?! Bomin has been playing for 3/4 hour, will you destroy his console?  
_ What wereyou talking to Joochan about at this hour anyway? You can’t send me a message saying you’ll be late, but you’ve been chatting with him for over an hour!  
_ You’re not going to do that again! I was in the subway! There was no network!! And I don’t need your permission to talk to Joochan!! He’s hurt in case you don’t remember. He has no morale at all! And I miss him!! It’s still easy to understand!  
_ Humpff. Make excuses! In the meantime, you can focus on something other than your phone! Like learning chore!  
_ Jaehyun! You exaggerate!! Donghyun intervened.

He and Bomin had been silent until then, a little shocked by what was going on, but he couldn’t let him insinuate that kind of thing.

_ What is going on here? asked Daeyeol who had obviously been awakened by the argument.  
_ This idiot threw my phone out the window! Said Jibeom, leaving the room without a word or another look at his friend.

How could Jaehyun justify that? And he was yelling at him too. All for...a vague story of jealousy?  
Okay, they were all tired and stressed, but the reaction had been a little too extreme for his taste.

As he expected, his phone was crumbling. To tell the truth, it was a miracle that he found it, or at least most of the pieces. Not that it would be of any use to him. Well...he could save the chip...maybe. Not sure. But he wouldn’t be able to get a cell phone back for a long time. Besides, Jaehyun had better buy it for him! But why did he do that? It was the one he was normally closest to. Jaehyun didn’t get mad at him… not without reason.  
He slowly went back to the dormitory, sighing as he saw several of the members in the lounge. He showed them what was left of the cell phone and they winced together.

_ Unrecoverable.  
_ Yeah. Thanks Jaehyun.  
_ Pff. I’m going to sleep. Without giggling it will be much better.  
_ Is he serious? I’m not staying in the same room with him!  
_ Jibeom!  
_ He threw my phone out the window hyung!  
_ I know, but…  
_ He didn’t even apologize hyung. He looks proud of himself!  
_ This is not the time to argue.  
_ This is never the time, sighed Jibeom. I did nothing to deserve this, hyung. I am not aggressive with him. I was 20 minutes late, okay. But the subway was down! And I…  
_ Jibeomie, calm down. I’ll talk to Jaehyun tomorrow. Take Joochan’s bed for now.  
_ Joochanie’s bed? I…

He was a little hesitant about it. He didn’t want to take Joochan’s place. But he didn’t want to sleep in the same room as that idiot Bong Jaehyun right now. And… Well, he missed Joochan, sleeping in his bed somehow… maybe it would fill the gap a little? He couldn’t even chat or call him.

_ Okay. Thank you hyung. Good night. Sorry for waking everyone up.

Daeyeol sighed when he saw him leave and turned to the others. Sungyoon made him a slight grin and Jangjun shrugged.

_ It may be a bit complicated but they will calm hyung. Jaehyun loves Jibeom, he must just be a little stressed.  
_ Stressed? He threw his phone out the window, Seungmin recalled. We’re all stressed out, it doesn’t allow us to take it out on each other when the envy takes us!  
_ I don’t even understand why he did that, mumbled Donghyun. Jibeomie wasn’t making any noise. And Joo was happy to talk to him. He cheered him up.  
_ Jaehyun is jealous.  
_ Jealous of what?  
_ Jibeom’s attention to Joochan. I guess it’ll pass.  
_ We’re going to hope.  
_ I would have reacted more violently instead of Jibeom.

And what did he have to add to that?

The atmosphere was not pleasant the following days as one might expect. Jaehyun refused to apologize and absolutely did not want to buy Jibeom a new cell phone. Of course, he should have thought a little more before destroying his comrade’s expensive, almost new phone… But Jaehyun was still angry. All the more so since Jibeom had decided to ignore him. This, in the end, had only made things worse.

Daeyeol had run out of patience and was seriously wondering if locking up the 2 young men in a closet until they solved their problem would not be a good idea when Joochan showed up at the dormitory looking pretty distraught.  
The why of how remained for a long time in the blur between the exclamations of the other members and the incomprehensible remarks of the young man until Sungyoon intervened.

_ Calm down! Joochan, Jibeom is fine.

Thank God for Sungyoon. He had managed to restore calm just like that. Moreover, the noise had drawn Jibeom out of the room, which seemed to be what it took for Joochan to agree to sit down.

_ You’re supposed to rest, Joochan, sighed Daeyeol.  
_ Jibeom wasn’t answering the phone, the messages or in the gc so I… I thought something had happened to him.  
_ And you didn’t think to ask one of us instead of rushing here?  
_ … No?

Daeyeol looked up to the sky. What was he supposed to do with these idiots? Sometimes he wondered if they had not all set themselves the goal of giving him white hair before he was 30.

_ My phone fell down, explained Jibeom. I didn’t have time to buy one back. Sorry Joo, I thought one of the others would have told you.  
_ Why don’t you order one?  
_ I…uh…  
_ I mean… at least you are fine. I feel stupid for worrying so much.  
_ You are stupid, said Donghyun. You are both stupid.

But the two involved just seemed happy to see each other and to be able to discuss. They were already planning an outing to pick up a new cell phone since Joochan also wanted to change his. Which could not be done for a while actually. They were in the middle of rehearsals. They had to change a lot of things with the absence of Joochan and they were going to Japan in a few days.  
Jibeom was never going to survive without his cell phone that long. Especially since there was his birthday in between. At least it would give Jaehyun time to calm down and be a little more reasonable. That was always good to take.

Things got a little better after that. Jangjun had lent Jibeom his old cell phone as soon as the young man had managed to recover a functional chip and Jaehyun had ended up apologizing grudgingly. Their Japanese promotions went very well and they even managed to have a small party for Jibeom’s birthday.  
Despite everything, they were happy to return to Korea. With a few days of rest ahead, some had decided to spend time with their families. Except that of course Jibeom wanted to pick up his new cell phone. He had been waiting long enough! And so, Jaehyun had to come with him to pay the bill, which did not really suit him and he had not deprived himself to say it loud and clear.

_ It won’t take long Jaehyun-ah, Jibeom promised.  
_ You weren’t supposed to go with Joochan? Frankly, I…  
_ I know, I know, but Joo did physical therapy today and I don’t think you want to hand me your credit card.

Jibeom sighed. He did not understand Jaehyun any longer. He always seemed angry with him, whatever he did, whatever he said. As if he was expecting something that Jibeom completely ignored. It was tiring.

_ You know what, you just give me the bill, I’ll pay you back.  
_ Is it so hard to spend time with me?  
_ What? No! Of course not! But my mother made me my favorite dish and I feel like I haven’t seen my family for months.  
_ I see… Ah! Careful!!!

He push him just in time to avoid a car that had not seen them crossing.

_ Jaehyun-ah! How are you?  
_ I…m…I…, blatantly shocked Jaehyun stammered.

While inspecting his friend, Jibeom saw the scooter running towards him from the corner of his eye but could not completely avoid him. He was thrown to the side and banged his head against a pole, vaguely thinking that he should not have stayed on the pavement before losing consciousness.  
Jaehyun screamed, completely panicked, horrified as he saw a pool of blood forming around his friend’s head.  
An ambulance arrived quickly and Jaehyun found himself in the waiting room in shock waiting for news. This is where Daeyeol and Sungyoon found him when they arrived at the hospital.

_ We gave him a sedative, warned the nurse who had taken them to Jaehyun. Which one of you is Kim Jibeom’s guardian?  
_ Me.  
_ The doctor will talk to you. If you will follow me?

Sungyoon followed the woman and Daeyeol joined Jaehyun, questioning him, trying not to panic. Their leader had a hard time keeping the youngest one calm. He did not understand exactly what had happened, just that there had been an accident and that Jibeom had to be operated on urgently.

_ They’re going to put him in a room on the 3rd floor as soon as he gets out of the recovery room, Sungyoon told them 30min later.  
_ What did the doctor say? Is he okay?  
_ Jaehyun, calm down. Let him talk.  
_ Hyung!  
_ He’s okay. Well, he’s alive. He’s going to have to be monitored for several days to make sure there’s no bleeding in the skull.

Which was a relief.  
Everything would be fine.

Of course, Daeyeol was much less sure the next day. Jibeom’s family had been to see him before them and it was soon obvious that something was wrong. His parents were furious. And they wanted to take him home.  
Jibeom’s brother had finally sent his parents away and had let them into the room.  
At first sight, Jibeom seemed to be doing well. He had a bandage around his head and had looked at them with big eyes full of curiosity.

_ Jibeom-ah, these boys are part of the same group as you. They will be able to inform you about… quite a lot. What do you say?  
_ Oh. You guys are idols then? Hyung told me about this but I... I’m having a bit of a hard time realizing. I saw myself in the mirror, but…  
_ Jibeom remembers nothing after his 15 years interrupted his elder.  
_ Don’t you remember us? asked Jaehyun.  
_ No, but it’s a shame, said Jibeom with a big smile.  
_ I’ll leave you. Just… don’t leave him alone. I’ll take care of our parents don’t worry, they’re not going to kidnap him.

The young man went out. He looked tired.

_ So… there are 10 of us, right? How did I find myself an idol? Because the last time I checked, I wanted to be a pastry chef. Or a dentist. Both? I don’t know exactly. But not idol. I don’t think so. Grandma wanted me to be a singer. Maybe she convinced me? I like to sing. Grandma likes when I sing and…  
_ Okay. Quiet Jibeom. One thing at a time.

And none of them had ever imagined Jibeom so ... hyperactive. And he was so innocent. The 2 elders had ended up leaving Jaehyun with him. He was better equipped to manage a Jibeom in this state.  
And perhaps Daeyeol had fled as quickly as possible because seeing Jibeom like that made him panic. So he had to focus on what he could do right away. Like warning the rest of the group. That was up to him.


	2. Chap02

Chap02

Jibeom was really having a hard time assimilating everything that was going on around him. It was really weird.  
The day before, he still went to college, lived with his grandparents and brother. He even had a girlfriend.  
Not to mention he was 15.  
Except right now, he was in college.  
Part-time. Because he was part of an idol group. There were 10 of them and they were all very close to each other.  
His brother had a job, a fiancé and his own apartment.  
His grandparents had been dead for five years.  
He had left Busan and had grown accustomed to speaking with Seoul’s accent where he now lived.  
That was so weird!  
Boys from his band brought him their albums. They had made several! And videos of their performances and training.  
It was a little disconcerting.  
His teammates took turns so he wouldn’t be alone once they convinced his parents to let him stay with his group. The doctors thought his memory was going to come back. It’ll just take a little time. Or a lot of time. They were not very fixed on this point. Nevertheless, being in a familiar environment could only help.  
The members of Golden Child were all trying to help him in their own way, but he felt that he made them uncomfortable.

It must have been difficult for them too, but he had to admit to have enough trouble with himself without worrying about the others. Even if it was selfish.  
He could still get their names wrong, but it was an ongoing thing. The one who spent the most time with him was Bong Jaehyun and he felt best about Choi Sungyoon but… The poor guy didn’t always know how to do with him. He liked Jaehyun, too, but the young man seemed to expect something from him that he did not understand.  
At the moment, he was alone. Because it wasn’t visiting time yet and for the first time since he woke up, none of his bandmates had slept in his room. He was busy watching videos of their performances. It was something fascinating. He could dance! He never imagined that he could dance like this one day.

_ Jibeom-ah?

He raised his head and blinked. He had not yet met this person, but he was not unknown to him. Hong Joochan was part of the group but was currently on break following a knee injury.

_ The others told me… for your memory I mean. I am Hong Joochan.  
_ Aa. I had guessed. You’re the only one I haven’t seen yet but I have videos. I expected you to be blond.  
_ I was blond when we started, said the young man as he sat down, putting his crutches against the bed.  
_ Maybe that’s why. I haven’t gotten to the most recent videos yet.  
_ Your accent…  
_ … I…  
_ That’s funny! I understand why you thought you lost it now!  
_ It’s a little awkward.  
_ Less than your memory.  
_ Sure. Are you in charge of keeping me company?  
_ More or less. Let’s say they finally gave in and let me stay with you. I’ve been under house arrest since I was injured.  
_ And it’s really better to be stuck here with me?  
_ Without comparison. At home it’s rather stifling. And I like being in your company. Well… Of course, since you don’t remember me, it kind of ruins things, but I’ll get used to it.  
_ The doctors said my memory will come back, but… nothing yet.  
_ In the meantime, I can help you.  
_ Actually, I’m the one keeping you company.  
_ Hehe. It’s a bit hard to have nothing specific to do suddenly and to be without the others.  
_ Hmm. It must be weird, yes. I still expect my friends to come, but… they’re in Busan. And hyung said that… I don’t really talk to them anymore. For me, it was yesterday, but for them it’s been 6 years.  
_ I can’t even imagine. It’s too weird.  
_ I look like I’m having fun on stage.  
_ You like it, yes. You were a little shy at first, but now it’s quite the opposite.  
_ Me shy? I would have heard everything… And do we get along well?  
_ The two of us? Pretty well. We’re from the same year. Even if you insist on being considered a 98liner.  
_ Oh. You… ah. Yes. I see you older, but that’s because from my point of view I’m 15.  
_ That must be weird too.  
_ More for the others, I think. Are we friends then?  
_ Yes. We are 4 99liners, I don’t know if you were told?  
_ I think someone told me that.  
_ But you’re closer to Jaehyun, actually.  
_ Ah. Which explains why he’s squatting in my room more than the others and watches me like I’m gonna disappear as soon as he turns his back.  
_ Maybe…  
_ Don’t you think so?  
_ Yes, he did. But… uh… you had a fight, so maybe he feels a little guilty.  
_ I see. He strongly implied that we were together.  
_ Together?  
_ Romantically.  
_ Oh.

How Jibeom could be so calm talking to him about it, he had a hard time understanding. In his place, he was convinced that he would be in full panic mode.

_ For me, right now, I’m supposed to have a very pretty and very annoying girlfriend. Not that it surprises me that I’m not with her anymore, but I’ve never considered a relationship with a boy.  
_ And that’s what bothers you?  
_ Not really. It’s just... I don’t feel anything special when I’m with him.  
_ Maybe because you don’t just have your memories.  
_ But is it true?  
_ I don’t know, but it doesn’t mean anything.  
_ Okay… We wouldn’t have tell anyone?  
_ I don’t know. It may be recent. There’s definitely something going on between you, I mean, you’re very close, but if you took the step, nether of you told me.

Jibeom sighed. It disturbed him a bit. But, Jaehyun was rather pleasant to look at, it would not be a chore if it was true. In the meantime, he was going to focus on Joochan. He felt good with him, which was relaxing. Especially since he was going to spend the next few days, well the next few weeks really in his company.  
It took another two weeks for the doctors to agree to let him out.  
With a ban on dancing.  
Or to play sports.  
But he could sing!

Of course, that raised the problem of his place of residence. He insisted to his parents that he did not want to go back to Busan. Because it was certainly not there that his memory would come back to him. However, he had to admit that the prospect of being with a lot of relatively unknown people was not very reassuring.  
And Joochan wouldn’t be here.  
He liked Joochan. He would have liked to stay with him… This did not seem possible in the short term since the young man was still under house arrest with instructions to rest as much as possible.

_ Happy to go out? asked Joochan, with a smile.  
_ I think so.  
_ Oh? I see! You wanted to stay in this lovely room!  
_ Not specifically. I’m just a little… nervous, I guess.  
_ Nervous? Why? They’re not going to put you in touch with our fans right now.  
_ I know. But… I don’t know what to expect. And you won’t be there.  
_ I am not far away. It will go well. They do not bite, you have nothing to fear.  
_ I guess.

He did not seem convinced, but Joochan could only try to encourage him while trying not to mother him too much. He had to manage on his own if he wanted to continue with them. And Joochan couldn’t imagine the Golden Child without Jibeom.  
That was not an option.  
He was going to do everything to help him get better. Of course, for that, he also had to get better. But he had confidence in the other members. They would handle it well in his absence.  
That’s what he thought.  
He was sure of that.  
He was therefore not pleasantly surprised to find himself in the dormitories at 11pm after being called in by Donghyun just 3 days later.

_ We tried to treat him like our Jibeom, explained Jangjun. Forgetting that he could not understand jokes and innuendoes without his memories.  
_ I avoided him, admitted Seungmin not very proud of himself.  
_ This is not our Jibeom, mumbled Jaehyun. He does nothing like our Jibeom.  
_ Jaehyun, sigh Daeyeol, it is not because he does not act like you would like him to that he is not Jibeom.

The poor man seemed to have repeated the same sentence over and over again.

_ But it’s true hyung! said Bomin. He doesn’t react as usual.  
_ This is a bit disturbing, Youngtaek admitted.  
_ Disturbing? And to him then? Sniffed Joochan. So what? Why did I have to come?  
_ Because Jibeomie heard these idiots complaining about his lack of resemblance to himself and it was too much. He ran away, Sungyoon explained.  
_ I thought you might know how to find him, added Donghyun.

Joochan sighed. They had screwed up. Royally. And it took them only 3 days. 3 short days.  
How did they want him to find him exactly? He wasn’t going to go far with his crutches. Where could he have disappeared? He didn’t know the neighborhood. He didn’t know Seoul.

_ Joochan-hyung!!  
_ Ah!

He stumbled when he received the boy in his arms. Well, he weighed his weight! Well… At least he wouldn’t have to look too far and they could all stop worrying.

_ I told you not to call me hyung! We’re the same age!  
_ I know.  
_ You hid in the closet…  
_ Um. It’s quiet in there. And it’s dark. I don’t like being here Joochan-ah. They don’t want me here. They say I’m not Jibeom. But I’m Jibeom. I can’t not be me.  
_ Of course you’re you.  
_ Can I stay with you?  
_ … let me ask my mother first.

Jibeom nodded and let Joochan walk away, watching the other young men with suspicion.

_ I’m sorry, Jibeom. I should have made you feel more comfortable, said Daeyeol.  
_ You looked normal, so we thought that treating you normally would help you the most. Sorry Jibeomie, added Sungyoon.  
_ Jangjun-shi made me believe that it was up to me to do all the cleaning this month because we take turns! It’s not fun!! Seungmin-shi looks at me like an alien and runs away whenever I try to talk to him!  
_ Sorry, the young man immediately apologized.  
_ I don’t understand anything about what Youngtaek-shi is saying. It’s as if we don’t even speak the same language. I feel like a straw doll for Bomin-shi. He keeps jerking me around and I don’t even know why!  
_ Sorry hyung…  
_ This is the maknae, Daeyeol said. He does this often, but we are used to it.  
_ And, he, continued Jibeom, pointing to Jaehyun, I have the impression of having stolen his favorite toy from him. And he keeps saying that I’m not his Jibeom. I’m glad I’m not his Jibeom!!  
_ Jibeom-ah, I…  
_ My mother agreed, interrupted Joochan.

It was better not to continue this kind of conversation. Jaehyun seemed to oscillate between rage and guilt.

_ It’s not going to be practical Joochan, Daeyeol said. He needs to see us dance and live with us every day. It’s supposed to help him remember.  
_ I don’t want to stay here. Joochan is not here and you guys are mean.

Daeyeol looked up. And yes, they had screwed up. It would take a little time to fix that.

_ I think it would be better for him to stay with Joochan for the time being. It’s not worth forcing him, it will not help in the end.  
_ I guess you’re right, Sungyoon.  
_ I should be back at the dorms in 3 weeks. 1 month maximum. In the meantime, we will try to come to the studios as much as possible. Will it be okay hyung?  
_ We’ll deal with it. The important thing is that Jibeom feels better.  
_ Thank you Daeyeol-shi.  
_ Perhaps you could consider giving up the shi and replace it with hyung? You don’t have to, but I think I’m not the only one who’s a little upset with that.  
_ Okay. I will try, promised the young man after a few moments of reflection.  
_ Thank you. And again sorry. No one wanted to intentionally make you uncomfortable.

Jibeom cast a doubtful look at him and approached Joochan, causing a new sigh from their leader.

_ We’ll stay here tonight. It’s late and I’d rather not call a taxi. Is that okay, Jibeomie?  
_ Okay. We’re going home tomorrow?  
_ Yes. Maybe we’ll go see the others rehearse before. That would be good, right?

The young man shrugged.  
They organized themselves quickly to go to bed and the next day they returned to Joochan’s home.  
To the great surprise of the latter, everything went very well afterwards. Well... if we excluded the memory of Jibeom and his own wound. His friend was perfectly at home in his family. His mother loved him and he helped with daily tasks. Because that’s exactly what he used to do when he was 15 at home.  
And he really liked to sing. Losing a few years of memories didn’t change that. It was fun to sing with him in those moments. They had never been just the two of them for such a long time and Joochan admitted without difficulty that his presence did him a lot of good.  
He forced him to move rather than stay depressed in his room. At first, Joochan had tried to explain to him that he should not move his knee and really, crutches helped only very moderately. Seriously, he felt like a particularly clumsy person with a disability. Jibeom didn’t care. He had taken him out because he liked to get some fresh air, arguing that his grandmother said it took several hours of air a day to be healthy. And they both talked for hours about anything and everything. Especially anything. Joochan personally thought his friend had too much energy. He wasn’t really 15, so where did it come from? Anyway… he knew how to remain silent too. Yes, he did. When he was asleep. Or when he was watching the sunset.


	3. Chap03

Chap03:

_ I finished Jibeom-ah. We can go.  
_ Hmm.  
_ Did your appointment with your doctor go wrong?  
_ No. He said everything was fine. I can do sports again without pushing too hard.  
_ What about your memory?  
_ He says it will come back, but he doesn’t know when. There is no change.  
_ You just have to wait.  
_ Hmm. I don’t miss it that much. When I don’t think about it too much. If I don’t look in the mirror. And I’m not with the other members.  
_ It’s hard.  
_ Sometimes. I guess it’s harder for you and the others.  
_ No. It’s different, but it’s not harder than it is for you.  
_ That’s what you think. Jaehyun has a way of looking at me that makes me want to hide as far away as possible. Like it’s all my fault. I didn’t choose to bang my head and lose part of my memory.  
_ Of course it’s not your fault. Maybe Jaehyun feels guilty.  
_ Just because we had a fight? I don’t see how that makes him guilty of anything.  
_ He was with you when you had your accident. No one told you?  
_ No. I don’t think so. Nobody told me exactly what happened.  
_ … Now that you mention it, I don’t really know either.

Jibeom laughed, shaking his head negatively. Joochan shrugged with a smile. They make a fine pair.

_ We’re going back to the dorms next week.  
_ Oh. Already.  
_ It seemed like a long time to me personally.  
_ …  
_ You wanted to continue with the band, right?  
_ Yes.  
_ You hesitate? Would you rather go home?  
_ There’s nothing left for me home. My grandparents are dead. My brother moved out. And I don’t want to stay with my parents.  
_ You just stay because of that?  
_ I’m fine with you. I like to sing too. It’s fun I can do things with my voice that I shouldn’t be able to. Dance, though, it’s a little more complicated, but I’m getting there. It’s kind of fun.  
_ Of course it’s fun. It’s even better on stage.  
_ On stage? I’m not gonna have to do this right now, am I?  
_ Of course not. Ideally, you will have recovered your memory by then.  
_ … It also bothers you, hmm?   
_ You’re still Jibeom, but sometimes I wish I could talk to you about things we did together but you forgot. It’s a little bit…

Joochan hesitated, not of course knowing how to express with words what he felt at the moment.

_ You also feel like you’ve lost a friend?  
_ No. You’re still you. You have the same little habits you’ve always had.  
_ Okay.

It was certainly not the whole truth, but Jibeom could accept it. Joochan made a lot of effort and he was grateful.

_ You can by the way.  
_ What?  
_ Tell me about what we were doing together and I forgot. You did it when I was in the hospital.  
_ Ah. I thought… After what happened at the dorms, I thought it was best to create new memories. I didn’t mean to pressure you.  
_ Yes. But I’m better now. We are friends. I mean, with all the time we’ve been together, I know we’re friends. I mean, you told me that before, but I didn’t have anything to be sure of it and… um… I’m confused, huh?  
_ A little. But I get it.  
_ That’s it. That way we’ll be even more friends when I remember everything.  
_ Maybe. As long as you don’t call me hyung.  
_ Sorry. You look older than me. Although I know you’re not.

Jibeom would have followed Joochan anywhere and the latter had a solo song to promote that he had put in standby because of his injury. Nevertheless, Jibeom would have preferred to stay with Joochan at home.

He didn’t feel comfortable. Not in the dorm, not with the other boys. But he had to try a little harder. He couldn’t stay with Joochan all the time.   
Daeyeol-hyung had been kind enough to leave him his bed, leaving him the small room with Joochan. He had no desire to sleep with Donghyun, Bomin and Jaehyun.

_ Are you ready Jibeom-ah?  
_ Are you my babysitter today, hyung?  
_ You’re a little old to need a babysitter Jibeomie.  
_ A guardian then? Joochan-hyung seemed ready to have a heart attack when he left.  
_ You are nervous too, he pointed out. Nothing’s gonna happen to you with us, you know?  
_ I know. It’s kind of like a first day at a new school, hyung. It’ll pass.   
_ It’s not that bad then.  
_ I’ve been practicing dancing! Joochan-hyung said that I made progress!   
_ We’ll see. Go put on your shoes, I’m coming.   
_ Okay!

Sungyoon sighed then took a deep breath. It was far from easy. He had no idea how Joochan could stay with him all day. The current Jibeom was a lovely boy, smiling, full of energy and a little shy. But it wasn’t really the Jibeom they came to know and used to. It was really strange to hear him call Joochan, hyung. Amazing Joochan would let him do that.

_ Yoon? Are you ok? asked Daeyeol.  
_ Of course. Don’t worry, I got it. Go to your appointment.   
_ Are you sure?   
_ Hurry up.   
_ Sungyoon-hyung! We’re waiting for you!

Training went pretty well. In fact, Jibeom had made incredible progress over the last time. That was impressive. And he made an effort to talk to others, even though he looked at Jaehyun as if he were a particularly strange unknown specimen.

_ I am so hungry! Shall we eat something, hyung? Do we have to order? When is Joochan coming back?  
_ We can go out if everyone agrees.

He was rewarded with a huge smile and a little dance.

_ You still have energy, Jibeomie? You want us to do the chore again 2 or 3 times?  
_ No! Joochan told me you were a mad dancer Donghyun.  
_ Hey. He is not entirely wrong.  
_ Jangjun-hyung! immediately protested Donghyun.  
_ What? Isn’t that right?   
_ We’re going to eat? Is Joochan coming, hyung?  
_ Joochan is going to be a little busy Jibeomie. He told you, didn’t he?  
_ Yes…

He followed them with enthusiasm, however, to the restaurant they used to go to.

_ He looks happy, doesn’t he? said Seungmin.   
_ More than the last time he was with us, that’s for sure, sighed Youngtaek. But he pretends.  
_ What do you mean?   
_ I know him well and I can tell you that he is not comfortable at all. He makes a lot of effort.  
_ Unlike you.  
_ I’m trying.  
_ I’ve never seen him in hyperactive mode like that.   
_ Neither have I. This is … disturbing. Or fun. Maybe a little of each.  
_ Daeyeol seems to manage it rather well.  
_ He’s used to it.  
_ And not Sungyoon-hyung? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him so stressed.   
_ Jibeom is like a little brother to Sungyoon. I think he’s having a little trouble seeing him like that.  
_ Maybe. Or maybe it’s you who see him that way.   
_ It’s quite possible.   
_ He seems to get along well with Donghyun, added Seungmin after a moment of observation.  
_ Does that surprise you?  
_ Donghyun may seem a little cold at first.  
_ But Jibeom gets along well with Donghyun usually.  
_ He also gets along well with Jaehyun usually…

Joochan returned a little before midnight, half expecting to find Jibeom waiting for him even though he had told him several times to go to bed. Jibeom wasn’t there, but there was Jangjun and Seungmin.

_ Hey!  
_ Hyung? Did everything go well?  
_ Great. What about you?  
_ A bit tiring, but it’s good to be back.  
_ I hope you had a good rest because your schedule is full for more than 2 months.   
_ I saw! Did… it went well with Jibeom?   
_ Don’t worry about Jibeomie. He’s in good hands.  
_ And he’s been texting you all day, chuckled Seungmin.  
_ Yes… but I think it was just to distract me.  
_ What do you mean?   
_ Let’s see… um… ‘Jangjun-hyung’s hair goes off in all directions when he’s happy!’… ‘Donghyun is really cute. But I don’t think he does. Should I tell him?’… ‘Seungmin-hyung looks like a nice panda. Even when he’s angry. I feel like hugging him!   
_ Hey!  
_ Show me, asked Jangjun, taking Joochan’s phone and scrolling through the messages with a laugh.  
_ They’re all like that.  
_ Great. Really like a teenager. But it’s fun to read.  
_ These are things he could say out loud normally.  
_ It will come. He just needs to get used to being with the whole group.  
_ Or just getting his memory back.  
_ That would be good.  
_ I’m going to bed, hyungs. See you tomorrow.  
_ Hmm.  
_ Sleep tight, Joochan.

Jibeom was asleep, but he had invaded Joochan’s bed. Which didn’t really surprise him, actually. Not that he’d mind.

_ Joochan-ah?  
_ Sleep.  
_ … Late?  
_ A little. Sleep.  
_ M'kay.

Daeyeol found them like this the next day when he came to wake up Joochan.

_ I didn’t leave my bed so you two could sleep in the same one, he remarked a little annoyed.  
_ He fell asleep waiting for me.  
_ Joochan, if he does it again, wake him up and send him to bed.  
_ It was just a stressful hyung day. He wasn’t sleeping with me at home.  
_ I see. Sorry. I don’t want to give him too much, you understand?  
_ He does as he can hyung. Just try not to scare him off.

Daeyeol sighed.

_ I know. Are you awake Jibeomie?  
_ No, said the boy.  
_ …  
_ Do we have to get up, hyung?  
_ You can wait another 1/2hour. We’ll practice afterwards.   
_ Dancing again?  
_ Singing too.  
_ Aa.  
_ Joochan, on the other hand, you have to go to the hairdresser and make-up before your interviews, so get up.  
_ Yes hyung.

Jibeom also stood up, gratifying their leader with a big smile before running with the firm intention of occupying the bathroom before everyone else.

_ Jibeom-ah!!! Me first! protested Joochan, going after him.

The only answer he had was a burst of laughter followed by the sound of a door closing.

_ Why all this noise so early in the morning? mumbled Sungyoon still half asleep.  
_ They have fun, replied Daeyeol, shrugging his shoulders.

From his point of view, it was better to see them like that than depressed or worse. Of course, Jibeom was much less enthusiastic when Joochan had to leave, but Daeyeol had to admit that he was pleasantly surprised by the young man’s efforts. There he recognized the adaptability of Jibeom.


	4. Chap04

Chap04:

Daeyeol sighed, watching his teammates make fools of themselves while waiting to be called for filming. They were currently shooting a mv for the single they were going to release in may, hoping to make their fans wait a little more for Joochan to be heal and ready for a real comeback. His rehab was going well. Very well. But it was better to wait than to face another injury.

Jibeom was surprisingly good at recording the song, but filming wasn’t that simple.

On top of that, he wasn’t really sure that the agency had made the right decision about him. Someone had supposedly taken a picture of Jibeom with a girl on his arm.  
Except, of course, that wasn’t possible. But in view of the situation, the agency had decided not to intervene, justifying Jibeom’s silence in this way. Obviously, the fans did not react very well. Poor Jibeom had seen his fandom dramatically decrease. At least the ones that remained would always be loyal to him.... You had to look at it that way. And he was left relatively alone waiting to regain his memory. If only it could be a little faster…

It’s been almost five months. Poor Jibeom was completely panicked at the idea of going on stage in front of a large audience, even if he was doing rather well in training.  
He just had to get over his stage fright. And stop hiding behind Sungyoon as soon as one of their fans yells his name. It was a little fun at first, but actually…no. Jibeom was terrified. He didn’t like being in the center of attention at all. Wondering how he could have chosen to become an idol in the end.

Luckily for the young man’s first performance on stage, Joochan had accompanied them, even if he still could not dance. And everything went well. The problem arose the next day when they had to get on a plane and leave Joochan in Korea. Out of spite, Jibeom had clung to Donghyun and Sungyoon. It didn’t go wrong. Not really. But Jibeom had been very uncomfortable and it felt anyway.  
After that, it was back to practice.

_ Leader-nim! Your head’s elsewhere.  
_ Aa. Sorry, Sungyoon. I was just thinking. Did the others get back to the dorms?  
_ Jibeom get back with Joochan and Donghyun. He had a headache. The others have gone to eat.  
_ Okay. Do you want to join them?  
_ I’d rather go home if you don’t mind.   
_ You’re still worried about nothing…  
_ I am tired, said Sungyoon.

He didn’t really believe in it, but he didn’t mind going home. Donghyun was playing a game on his cell phone, but there was no sign of the other two.

_ Jibeom had a very bad headache. They went to bed, explained the dancer.  
_ Does he have a fever?  
_ I don’t know. Joochan is looking after him. And I think he has a hospital appointment tomorrow for a check-up anyway.  
_ Correct, confirmed Sungyoon.

Daeyeol nevertheless went to see what the 2 boys were doing. Jibeom had migraine headaches this last few day, it could not say anything good. They were both in Joochan’s bed, but he expected it a little bit. Jibeom tended to sleep with Joochan when he felt unwell. Joochan was sitting and looking at something on his phone. Jibeom was lying with his head against his friend’s belly, his eyes closed.

_ Joochan-ah?  
_ Hyung! Back already?  
_ Is everything all right?  
_ Jibeomie has a headache.  
_ Does he got a fever?  
_ Just a little bit.  
_ Did you give him anything?  
_ No. He doesn’t want to. He has to see his doctor tomorrow, so he’ll be fine.  
_ As long as it doesn’t hurt too much.  
_ He just forced too much into training. There were the recordings and the filming too. It’s a bit hard for him.  
_ But he’s doing really well. On stage, there was no problem.  
_ He trains a lot. And he’s gifted. Jibeomie has always been gifted. He wouldn’t be here otherwise.  
_ Sure. Watch him anyway. If his fever goes up…  
_ I’ll give him something. But I think he just needs to sleep.

Daeyeol nodded and went out, dragging Sungyoon who had listened to the conversation with him. His friend had to stop worrying, he was already doing it enough for both of them.  
Jibeom still had a headache the next day but no fever. He insisted on going alone to his appointment. So the rest of the group was on edge and their training was a disaster. Their coach had given them a hearty sermon before abandoning them for the day.

_ There’s nothing to worry about, Joochan reminded them. It’s just a routine check-up.  
_ He got lost going to the grocery store last week…  
_ He has a driver. He’s not going to get lost.  
_ He is also lost in Woollim, Donghyun pointed out. He would be able to find himself in the maternity ward at the hospital.  
_ He is not 10 years old. His memory is a bit weak, he is not disabled. He has his phone with him so at worst he will call someone.  
_ He has a phone?  
_ The one Jangjun-hyung lent him.  
_ He found the code to open it?  
_ Yes, sigh Joochan it’s been a long time besides Jaehyun.  
_ What if the doctor says he has a headache from dancing? If it bleeds again? What if…  
_ Youngtaek-hyung!  
_ The doctors know what they’re doing. They said his head was fine.  
_ Pff. They also said he was going to get his memory back, said Jaehyun. And it’s been 5 months now. What are we supposed to do with this Jibeom? We can’t even make a comeback.  
_ That’s because of me, murmured Joochan.  
_ All right, that’s enough!

They remained silent for a moment until the door of the room opened.

_ But what are you doing? We weren’t supposed to see the second part of the chore for the festival?  
_ Jibeom-ah! How did it go?  
_ What did the doctor say?  
_ Nothing special. I’m fine. Except the elevator stopped on the wrong floor and I ended up in the maternity ward. I can’t believe this! I press 2 and it takes me to 5. Finally, the doctor said that everything was going normally, that I had no physical problems and not to force too much when I had headaches. That’s it. Why aren’t you training?

The question was followed by a long, long silence.

_ He really ended up in the maternity ward…  
_ Hey! It’s not fun! A woman was at work, it’s traumatic! And it doesn’t tell me why you aren’t training.  
_ We were taking a break.  
_ You don’t have a headache anymore?  
_ I feel like someone is playing the drum right next to my ears.  
_ Shouldn’t you go back to the dorms then?  
_ No. I’m waiting for Joochanie. I’m going to sit here wisely and memorize the movements while you train.

They put themselves in position and Joochan joined him next to the sound system.

_ Were they worried?  
_ Um.  
_ I have an MRI next week. They will see that there is nothing wrong with me.  
_ Are you sure about that?  
_ I am fine, said Jibeom, taking his hand.  
_ … If you say so.

They watched the others dance for a moment.

_ Joochan-ah?  
_ Um?  
_ Were we close? I mean, before.

He had already asked the question, but seemed to need reassurance on a regular basis. Like he was going to give him up the minute his memory comes back. It was true that they had come a lot closer in the last few months because of their particular situation, but that did not change the fact that they had been friends for much longer.

_ I think so, yes. We are still the 3355.

Jibeom replied with a smile. He was always pleased when Joochan mentioned their combined numbers. He liked the idea of belonging to a set with Joochan.

_ Okay. I’ll be fine then.  
_ What?  
_ Nothing. Seungmin-hyung is 1 time ahead and Bomin 2 behind.  
_ I saw it.  
_ They are not focused. Something happened while I was away?  
_ No, no.

Nevertheless, the rest of the training did not go better. Jibeom had finally fallen asleep, his head on his teammate’s thighs, which had not really reassured the Golden Child members.

_ Joochan-ah? Does he have a fever? asked Daeyeol.  
_ No hyung. He’s fine. He’s doing a MRI next week if it makes you feel any better.  
_ Why? If he has nothing…  
_ It’s a routine check. They probably don’t want to take any risks.

Daeyeol nodded his head, but not very reassured.

_ Should he … rest in the meantime?  
_ He still has a headache for now, but it should pass. I think his doctor gave him something for that.  
_ Ok…  
_ I’m looking after him, assured Joochan, passing a hand in his hair.  
_ For today. But you have a lot to do, Joochan. You can’t always be with him.  
_ There are 9 peoples who can watch him, hyung. And Jibeomie knows how to take care of him. He’s pretty mature for a 15 years old.  
_ That’s right, sighed Daeyeol. But to see him like that…  
_ I know. We have to trust him. If there is a real problem, he will tell us.  
_ We’re going to hope.  
_ Are we going home?  
_ Not yet. The chore is not quite ready. But seeing as he looks tired, you can go back to the dormitory.  
_ We are supposed to observe…  
_ He sleeps. And the music must not fix anything if he has a headache.  
_ It’s okay hyung, murmured Jibeom. I can go home alone.  
_ No you can’t. And look at Joochan, he’s half asleep too. It’s almost midnight.  
_ Oh…  
_ Ok hyung! Good luck!

Joochan got up and waited for Jibeom to do the same to head out.

_ You don’t look well, he said.  
_ Just tired. I have stuff to take and tomorrow I’ll be in great shape.

He hoped he would. The doctor had given him meds that were supposed to help him with the headache. As for his cause… it excited and terrorized him at the same time. His memory was coming back. Or tried anyway.  
And it was complicated.

Assimilating memories while dealing with everything that had happened since his accident.... It was destabilizing. Thinking about it made his head hurt even worse.  
Sleeping was good for him, so he was hopeful that after a good night, he would see more clearly.  
At the moment sleeping was all he wanted.

They let him rest the next day. He didn’t have a fever, but he seemed off the mark when they tried to wake him up.  
Jibeom took advantage of the morning to reorganize his memories. In a sense he was relieved. There were still holes, but overall, he had recovered well. And, another thing, he had not lost his most recent memories, those acquired since the accident. His doctor had told him that this was a possibility and at the time, he thought that he would prefer not to recover his old memories and keep those of the last few months. He never wanted to forget what he had been through with Joochan. It was not an option for him. Of course, in reality, he had no choice…

He joined the rest of the group after having eaten to resume training. The chore for the festival was not going to be learned by himself!  
It had been several months now, but his comrades always walked on eggshells when it concerned him. He had to admit that he was a little embarrassed by the way he had reacted to this whole situation, but anyway.... He did what he could with the means he had.

He now understood why Jaehyun might feel a little guilty, even if his accident was in no way his fault. He just didn’t pay enough attention, that’s all. But… he still owed him a cellphone!! And… Why did he make him think they were together? Even if, indeed, he had intended to talk with him about it before his accident, the discussion had never taken place and would certainly never take place now. His last few months had changed his outlook somewhat. They were going to have a good discussion together to clear this up. It promised to be… painful. Certainly.  
For now, he was curious to see how long it would take his teammates and friends to realize that his memory had made a spectacular comeback.  
At the moment, they didn’t seem to have noticed anything.  
Daeyeol and Sungyoon were watching him, obviously expecting him to fall apart, even though he felt fit.

Dancing to the chores was easier with his memory! Singing their songs too. Knowledge of the lyrics would help!  
His singing teacher had congratulated him and Donghyun had told him that he had improved a lot in dance. They looked pleasantly surprised and compliments were always good to take!

But… he had to admit to be a little disappointed that none of them realized the difference. They had spent their time, at least some of them, saying that he wasn’t the same as before…

Joochan joined them at the end of the evening at the dormitories. He had finished his day with a copious physiotherapy session but he looked radiant. He was certainly going to be able to dance again in a short time.

_ Hey Joo! How did it go?  
_ … Jibeom-ah?

What was going on? Jibeom hadn’t called him Joo since…

_ It must be me, said the young man with a smirk. Do you want ice cream? I found a jar in the bottom of the freezer.  
_ You’ve recovered your memory!! Jibeom-ah! It’s great!! Since when?!  
_ This morning, he replied, giving him a spoon. Congratulations, it took you less than 1 minute while the others still did not catch up.  
_ Oh… that’s why you had a headache.  
_ Yeah. Ice cream?  
_ Thank you, he replied, digging in the pot that his friend had put between them. And now all’s okay?  
_ Um?  
_ Your head?  
_ Oh, yes. It’s okay. I’m still missing some memories, I think, but the gist is there and I haven’t lost the ones from the last few months.  
_ The last few months? Why would you lose them?  
_ It was a possibility. The doctor said it could happen. But it’s not. I remember perfectly well hiding in a closet to escape the others.  
_ Ah… You were afraid. It happens. It was special circumstances.  
_ Um… Luckily you were there. I hope it wasn’t too hard for you, but you were my lifeline.

Joochan left the ice for a while and stared at his teammate.

_ Hard? he slowly repeated. Jibeom-ah… I was hurt and completely depressed. You were my lifeline too.  
_ I… I don’t know if it was really comparable, but it’s great if you got something positive out of it anyway.  
_ We helped each other we’ll say.  
_ … Thank you Joo.  
_ You called me hyung!  
_ I know! Can I hope you forget that?  
_ Not a chance! said Joochan laughing before plunging his spoon back into the ice cream jar.

Jibeom pouted a little before imitating him. They ate for a moment in silence until Jaehyun came in the kitchen.


	5. Chap05

Chap05:

Jaehyun sighed for the 10th time in a few minutes and turned into his bed. He was stressed. And he couldn’t tell his best friend because Jibeom… did not really remember him, much less their discussions exchanged while their comrades slept or all the stupidities they had done just the 2 of them.

He missed his best friend.

The worst was that he had only himself to blame. If he had not broken his cell phone in a jealous fit that even he could not justify, they would not have gone out that day and Jibeom would not have had an accident.

The result?  
A 15-year-old Jibeom with no memories of all their moments.  
A Jibeom who looked at him like a stranger.  
A Jibeom even closer to Joochan than he had been before.

He didn’t know how to get close to his friend. He was… different and yet very similar. It was these similarities that were the hardest to bear in reality. He was Jibeom without being Jibeom.

_ Jaehyun-ah! I’m trying to sleep! said Donghyun from the bed below. Go for a walk if you need to move.

Jaehyun sighed again before getting up and heading towards the kitchen. A glass of water would do him good. He didn’t expect to find Jibeom and Joochan enjoying ice cream while laughing. Besides, where could they have found ice cream? It was a rare commodity in dormitories!

_ Did you find ice cream?! Or did you bring some Joochan?  
_ No, no, said the main vocal.  
_ This is my secret stash, Jibeom said with a smile.  
_ You got yourself a secret ice cream’s stash?  
_ Someone, or more likely several someone, was always stealing my ice cream jar, so I ended up hiding a jar for special occasions.

Jaehyun couldn’t help but chuckle. It was all Jibeom to do that kind of thing. Not that he was reluctant to share, but he had to admit that it was unpleasant to find oneself in front of an empty pot when he thought he could enjoy himself.

_ Is this a great occasion today? he asked, sitting in front of them.  
_ Perfectly! Do you want some? he asked him, immediately extending him a spoon.  
_ I…  
_ Oh, ice cream!! exclaimed Youngtaek as he entered the room. Where did it come from?  
_ From the freezer.

Jaehyun grabbed the spoon before their hyung decided to beat him to it.

_ You wouldn’t dare steal my pot of ice cream hyung, hmm? said Jibeom, widening his eyes as much as possible to look as innocent as he could.

Joochan personally thought it should have immediately alerted their two teammates, but it had to be believed that they were way too focused on the ice cream.

_ No… But you wouldn’t let your favorite hyung drool while you feast on a pot too big for you 3.  
_ Um. But Sungyoon is my favorite hyung.  
_ Hey! That’s not even true!! Who dared to tell you that?  
_ Of course it is. It is toki-hyung, calmly assure Jibeom.

Youngtaek frowned and ran back to where he came from, calling Sungyoon. Joochan giggled. If they still didn’t understand, Jibeom would have to say it word to word. Their comrades could sometimes be obtuse… Besides, Jaehyun had not reacted and continued to eat quietly.

_ I’m going to bed, said Jibeom, rising.  
_ I’m coming too.  
_ Can you put all this away, Jaehyun-ah?  
_ Um, um. Sleep well.

Jaehyun was obviously too focused on his ice cream to notice anything else.

_ Jibeom-ah? Youngtaek says you have ice cream?  
_ If Jaehyun didn’t finish it, it’s in the kitchen, hyung.  
_ Are you going to bed?  
_ I’m tired. Joo’s watching me.  
_ I’m tired too! Joochan said. I have to tell you my day Jibeom-ah, it was crazy.

Jibeom followed him laughing. He could always count on Joochan to distract him.

_ I think I’ll have to put up a poster, joked Jibeom when changed and ready to go to bed.  
_ At least, yeah. Have you been doing this all day?  
_ No. Only this afternoon. But I called Sungyoon toki-hyung several times. And Daeyol, Yeol-hyung. I even called Donghyun Dongdong-ah. Nothing to do…  
_ They just gave up hope for your memory, I think. And well … they’re tired too and you’re actually … ‘normal’ … Not to say you weren’t normal without your memory, just…  
_ Yeah, yeah. I get it. I’ll tell them tomorrow.

He did not add that Joochan was tired too and that it did not take him a whole minute to understand that his memory had returned.

_ I got a lot of compliments on my dance today.  
_ You remember the songs, it should simplify your work.  
_ Definitely, yes. The only song in the mashup I knew was BTS.  
_ Happy?  
_ I think.  
_ Not sure yet?  
_ Yes. Sure. But things have...changed.  
_ How so?  
_ Um. It’s just different.  
_ Good or bad?  
_ Just different. I’m still trying to clean in my head.  
_ Will you be all right?  
_ Sure. Focus on your rehab, Joo. I can handle it without a problem.  
_ I just… I just want to help you.  
_ You’re already helping me. It’s all that you’ve been doing, helping me, since my accident. You have to take care of yourself now, Joo. To 100%. You know you can count on me if you need me. I want to be able to dance and sing with you again, Joo.  
_ Jibeomie…  
_ You’re not going to cry, are you?  
_ No! I just have something in my eye.  
_ Of course. Dust surely.  
_ Are you sleeping with me?

Jibeom hesitated for a short while before joining his friend in the lower bed. It was an offer he could not refuse.

Prior to his accident, he thought he was particularly attached to Jaehyun. He had even been about to give him a formal declaration. But his feelings had changed. He had become more attached to Joochan.  
Of course, they had been friends before that, but personally, he felt much closer to Joochan now. He didn’t know exactly if it was reciprocal. Or maybe not quite in the way he would have liked.

Anyway, this was not the time for this kind of thing. He thought what he had said: Joochan had to focus on his rehabilitation. He didn’t want to distract him with his feelings and questions.  
He himself was going to have to clear things up with Jaehyun and focus on the group’s activities. He had a lot to do with that!

Jibeom awoke suddenly and in cold sweat, Joochan looking at him with uneasiness.

_ You screamed, murmured his friend.  
_ I remembered… the accident…

The day of the accident. And it was horrible. He thought he was dying.

_ Jibeom-ah?

He had told Joochan to take care of himself, that he could manage… and he was already crying in his arms! He had recovered his memory! He thought it would make everything better and… he was already crying in Joochan’s arms!!

_ Ssh ssh, it’s going to be okay. What’s going on? A nightmare?

He would have preferred. A nightmare, he could manage, but that was the reality. How could he still be alive? His head… He had such a headache!

_ You have nothing on your head Jibeomie, said Joochan, rubbing his back gently to calm him down. Everything is fine, you are safe. We are in the dormitory.

Why did his head hurt like that? He wasn’t bleeding, was he? It was over? But he was in pain!!  
He heard other noises around him and someone tried to move him, but he clung to Joochan. He didn’t know who wanted to move him or why. And he was in pain. He wanted to stay there with Joochan.

_ Jibeom-ah, we’re going to take you to the hospital. You have to let me go, okay?

It was out of the question.

_ Listen to me Jibeom-ah. Can you hear me?  
_ Aa.  
_ Okay. So tell me where it hurts… Your head?  
_ Aa.  
_ You’ve got nothing on your head, Jibeomie. That was months ago.  
_ I…  
_ Breathe. Come on, follow my breath Jibeomie. Inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale…

Inhale, exhale. He could do that. Joochan was right, the pain was going.

_ Are you feeling better?  
_ I… I… It was so real.  
_ Daeyeol-hyung called 911 and the doctor said it must be a panic attack. That the pain was psychic, just a memory of the accident.  
_ It really hurt. I... I screamed?  
_ You scared us a little.  
_ Sorry. It was.... I felt like I was there.  
_ The important thing is that you are better now.  
_ It’s okay. I feel a bit… I’m still scared. But I’m not hurt anymore. It was so scary Joo. Did… Jaehyun get nothing, huh?  
_ Not that I know of. I wasn’t there, but anyway, now he’s okay, right?  
_ Yes. You’re right.  
_ Try to get some sleep. You won’t get out of the hospital tomorrow.  
_ I’m fine now.  
_ 2 precautions are better than 1. Do it for us if you don’t want to do it for yourself.  
_ Um. I guess it’s more careful.

He sighed and settled against Joochan. It would be better tomorrow.  
He awoke to the sound of several voices trying in vain to whisper.

_ You’re not going to be able to stay here all day, Joochan. And we have to take him to the hospital. I told his doctor.  
_ He fell asleep just an hour ago. And I…  
_ That’s enough now, Joochan. You have physical therapy in 30 minutes. Get up.  
_ Sungyoon-hyung!  
_ We’ll take care of Jibeom. You can trust me, right?

Jibeom decided to open his eyes. Joochan obviously didn’t want to leave him while he had to go to his physical therapy session. It was out of the question that he would miss his rehabilitation because of him. And… Why did he feel like he had the worst hangover of his life?

_ Jibeomie?  
_ Joo, you… have to go…  
_ I know, I know. you’re going to the hospital with Sungyoon-hyung, okay?  
_ I promise. Go now.  
_ Aa. But you have to let go of me.

Ah. Indeed, it could help. He allowed Sungyoon to help him to sit down and watched Joochan get up to get ready.

_ How are you feeling?  
_ I’ve known better. I’m afraid you’re on baby-sitting duty hyung.  
_ This is not a chore Jibeomie.  
_ It’s a chore. We’re supposed to rehearse for the festival and Spring Again is due out in 6 days.  
_ It’s not a chore to spend time with you. Do you still have a headache?  
_ Not really. Did I wake everyone up last night?  
_ I’m afraid so. Can you get up?  
_ I’ll wait until Joo’s gone. He’ll be worried if he sees me, and he needs to go through his rehab so he can come back and dance with us.  
_ You’re very considerate to Joochan.  
_ And I’m not with the other hyung?  
_ Yes…. But not really lately if you know what I mean.

Jibeom just smiled and tried to get up gently. His head was spinning a bit, but overall, it looked good. Remembering an accident that could very well have been fatal could certainly cause that kind of reaction. It was a memory he would not have missed if it had remained forgotten.

_ Okay?  
_ That’s okay. Thank you hyung.

He relied on Sungyoon to slowly move out of the room. Oh. He wasn’t going to be able to dance today.  
Seungmin and Youngtaek were in the living room. They smiled hesitantly, clearly uncomfortable.

_ I’m fine, I’m not going to break into a thousand pieces. I’m not made of glass.  
_ Did you really remember the accident?  
_ Um.  
_ That’s good, right? It’s progress!

Jibeom stopped, wondering for a moment if his friend was joking or if none had understood. Didn’t Joochan tell them yesterday?

_ Are you serious?  
_ Don’t you think that’s good, Jibeomie?  
_ I have my memory since yesterday. I spent the afternoon trying to make you understand that.  
_ What… what?  
_ Let me sit hyung please. I’m dizzy.  
_ Oh! Yes, sorry. Are you okay?

He took a deep breath.

_ You want something to drink?  
_ I’m fine hyung, thank you.  
_ So your memory?  
_ Surprise?  
_ And you didn’t tell anyone?  
_ I told my doctor. And Joo guessed it immediately.

Sungyoon grimaced. Seungmin looked away. Youngtaek blinked several times.

_ How did Joochan guess? He didn’t see you until he came home at night.  
_ I’ve been using ‘Tag! Tag! Tagueuh! ’ all afternoon.  
_ Oh! That’s right!  
_ And I called you ‘toki-hyung’, hyung.  
_ I… didn’t pay attention.  
_ Now that you mention it, it is true that you have given us many clues, said Seungmin. We were too fixed on the chore.  
_ You should have told us.  
_ I was going to. I … didn’t remember the accident. I didn’t remember … It was…  
_ Joochan said a car braked hard before you started shaking.  
_ Maybe.... There was a brake sound. The car just skipped Jaehyun.  
_ Jaehyun? What do you mean?  
_ We were fighting and… Jaehyun almost got hit. I push him on the sidewalk but I stayed on the side. I was scared and I just wanted to make sure Jaehyun had nothing.  
_ He had nothing.  
_ I don’t think so. Then… the scooter came and I was thrown to the side. My head… I thought I was going to die.  
_ And you remembered that last night.  
_ That explains the screaming.  
_ Sorry about that. I was just… I was in pain and… Sorry.  
_ Do you feel pain now? asked Seungmin.  
_ I’m fine. I think a little rest would solve the problem, but I promised Joo I’d go to the hospital. It’ll make everyone feel better even if we don’t really have time for this.  
_ Of course we have time for that, idiot.

They prepared quickly and took a taxi. Of course, when they returned several hours later, the whole group was aware of the return of Jibeom’s memory. Most seemed relieved. Bomin immediately clung to him, happy to find his Jibeom-hyung.

The doctor said that everything was in order, he was just suffering the shock of the memory of the accident. The MRI showed nothing. He would be good for service after a little rest.


	6. Chap06

Chap06:

Joochan was a little mixed on the current situation. Of course, it was a good thing, but on the other hand, Jibeom spent much less time with him. He had grown accustomed to his company.

_ You have the head of a puppy who would have lost his master.  
_ Thank you Donghyun, it’s always nice.  
_ You’re welcome.  
_ Humpff.  
_ You’ll see him tonight, you know? He’s not far away. And he sends you a lot of messages. Even with his memory, he hasn’t stopped.  
_ I know…  
_ Do you miss him? You’ve become very close in the last few months.  
_ It’s a little weird, huh?

Donghyun smirked while continuing his stretches.

_ You know something I don’t, Dongdongie?  
_ Lots of things, said the dancer, laughing. But for that, just think about how you feel about Jibeom.  
_ We’re just friends. Very good friends.  
_ You’ve been supporting each other through some very difficult times for you two. I think that creates specials ties, don’t you think?  
_ Yes…  
_ Wouldn’t you like a little more?  
_ What do you mean?  
_ Think about it, Joo.

Bomin, Jibeom and Jaehyun entered the room at that time, interrupting their conversation. Bomin clinging to Jibeom like a sloth particularly pleased to have found a comfortable branch and Jaehyun laughing at something Jibeom had just said.  
Did Jibeom and Jaehyun make up?

_ Joochan-ah! How was the physiotherapist?  
_ Tiring. He’s a tyrant!  
_ I’m here too, sighed Donghyun.

Jibeom smiled, pat his head and sat next to Joochan, training Bomin with him. Didn’t the youngest have a drama to shoot or... something to do?

_ It’s been a long time since we did a vlive together!  
_ Vlive?  
_ Tomorrow Joo. For the comeback with Spring Again.  
_ Ah! Is it tomorrow? Not next week?  
_ Didn’t you watch the teasers Joo?  
_ Yes. I just have my head elsewhere.

It would be better if Jaehyun stopped sticking at Jibeom like that. He didn’t have to sit so close!  
But Jibeom was right, it was nice to be able to communicate with their fans. He had made a vlive for the release of his solo song, but it was more fun with the whole band. Although… Jibeom came to keep him company for his vlive, despite his stage fright at the time and he was grateful to him. It made him happy.  
Their goldenness had enjoyed the song and that was the most important.

After the release of their single, Joochan was preparing a radio show on top of everything else. He was very excited! It was a new dream come true.  
The only problem? He saw Jibeom even less than before. And it was starting to get on his nerves. He slept when he came home and only passed him quickly in the morning before leaving.  
Going from 24/7 to that... it was unsettling. And unpleasant. It kind of spoiled his pleasure. If only he could recover a little faster! He had cried when he saw them dancing at the Dream Concert without him. They had been great. He should have been with them. It was so frustrating!

He wanted to be totally recovered and plan a comeback.  
He wanted to be able to dance and sing with his teammates.  
He wanted to spend more time with Jibeom. Sending messages and sleeping together for a few hours was not enough.

He had also thought about what Donghyun had said. And he had to admit that maybe, just maybe, he was not entirely wrong.  
Because he was jealous of Jaehyun, Bomin and just about everyone who spent more time with Jibeom than he was, so more or less everyone lately.

And he had this… dream. He blushed every time he thought about it and thanked God for waking up before Jibeom that morning. Since Jibeom had not said anything specific to him, it seemed that he had not made any revealing … noises at night.  
So ... he had to admit, at least to himself, that he would like, that he would really like, to be able to be a little more than a friend to Jibeom.

But Jibeom had Jaehyun, didn’t he? Now that he had recovered his memory, they had to be very close again. Especially since Jaehyun, unlike him, spent his days with him.  
That was totally unfair, by the way.

Currently, Joochan was patiently waiting for his doctor to finish examining his last X-ray, which gave him all the time he wanted to turn it around and around in his head.

_ So? Give me good news doctor!  
_ You can start dancing again, but slowly, said the doctor.  
_ Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!!!!!  
_ Very slowly Joochan. It would be a shame to relapse and lengthen your rehabilitation.  
_ I will be careful!! promised the young man, narrowly restraining himself from jumping into the whole room.

He had to call Jibeom to tell him! They were going to be able to plan a comeback! Finally!! 1 year off, it was too long. Watching the time, Jibeom had to be with the others rehearsing some chores, he might not be able to answer. But… he wanted to talk to him now! Seeing him would be even better.

He stared at the screen of his phone for a moment, hesitating and just when he decided to wait, it rang, displaying ‘Jibeomie’ and the photo they had taken at his home before returning to the dormitories.

_ Jibeom-ah! I wanted to call you, but I thought you would be training.  
_ Hey Joo. I’m going to singing class. But I wanted to know what the doctor said before.  
_ Ahah! I can dance!!  
_ Really? Did he give you permission?!  
_ Yep! Only 2h a day for the moment and I have to continue the physio, but I can!  
_ Great! That’s really great!! What are you doing now? Going home?  
_ I’m waiting for papers and… I don’t know after.  
_ And if we… Ah! Someone’s calling. Sorry I’m going to have to leave you.  
_ Already…  
_ We can celebrate your recovery, huh? Go get something to eat and… I don’t know… karaoke?  
_ Okay!  
_ I’m going. I’ll see you later! I’ll call you when I go out.  
_ Am I waiting for you somewhere?  
_ At the agency?  
_ But the others are there! I…

Was it selfish of him to want to celebrate with Jibeom? Alone with Jibeom before saying anything to others? Maybe…

_ That’s right. Um, coffee shop near the hospital?

But Jibeom seemed to understand it perfectly.

_ Okay! I’ll see you then.

Jibeom had remained distracted throughout his class, but he had managed to do what was asked of him for the moment. He was going to have to work harder if they had to prepare a comeback. It was going to be exciting! They had been on hiatus for far too long.  
He quickly left the room, bowing to his teacher distractingly and immediately scrolling through his list of contacts to call Joochan.

_ Jibeom-ah!  
_ Hey Jaehyun. I…  
_ You seem in a hurry.  
_ I have something to do. Did you want something?  
_ I’m having a little trouble with the new song. I thought you could help me.  
_ Sorry. Ask Sungyoon-hyung. I have to go. See you tonight!  
_ Where are you going?  
_ Somewhere.

He walked towards the exit, but of course, since nothing could be simple, Jaehyun decided to follow him while asking questions. He sent a message to Joochan rather than a call. With Jaehyun at his heels, it was more careful.  
Unfortunately, Jaehyun always tended to react badly when he referred to Joochan.  
It was also his fault: he kept putting off the conversation he was supposed to have with him.

_ Why are you two making so much noise? We can hear you on the other side of the building.  
_ Nothing. Jaehyun won’t let me go.  
_ He doesn’t want to say where he’s going!  
_ I don’t need a babysitter anymore! I can go where I want Jaehyun!  
_ I was counting on you to help me, said the young man, changing tactics.  
_ And I have other plans. Ask hyung and stop following me.

He was sure that Daeyeol regretted not having stayed where he was. Their poor hyung was already tired enough without having to deal with their small daily disputes. On the other hand, if he could take Jaehyun with him so that he could go and find Joochan? It would actually suit him well.

_ Jaehyun-ah?  
_ What if he has another accident? We can’t just let him go alone.  
_ I am not a child! protested Jibeom.

But he had to admit that Jaehyun played it well. They had all suffered very badly from his accident and amnesia, none of his comrades willingly let him stay alone outside the agency or the dormitory.

Daeyeol sighed. They were supposed to have the rest of the day free. But he couldn’t deny also worrying about Jibeom. It wasn’t that long ago that he regained his memory after all. They were all a little overprotective with him and Jibeom generally tolerated them patiently. But even he would end up rebelling if they abused.

_ There is no reason for him to have another accident Jaehyun, tried to reason the oldest.  
_ But hyung…  
_ But Jibeom, it doesn’t hurt to tell us where you’re going.  
_ It’s starting to get tiring.  
_ Just in case…  
_ I’m going to meet Joochan. Is that okay? He can watch me.  
_ Oh. Okay. As long as you’re not alone, said Daeyeol obviously relieved.  
_ What do you mean you’re meeting Joochan? Why do you?  
_ It’s none of your business, Jaehyun. Please stop making a scene every time I talk about Joochan.  
_ You don’t have to meet him.  
_ We’re going somewhere together.  
_ I can…  
_ Leave me alone, cut Jibeom. Please. I spent 6 months practically glued to Joochan and I hardly spoke to him since my memory came back.  
_ Precisely, Jaehyun insisted. You have recovered your memory, so you no longer need to spend all your time with him and put us aside.

And by that, Jibeom assumed that he meant to put him aside. Which was not at all the case… Of course, shouting in the halls, they were starting to attract people and Jibeom didn’t particularly want to settle it with an audience. Not to mention Joochan was waiting for him.

_ Jaehyun-ah, Jibeom doesn’t do anything wrong. We have the evening free. He can very well spend it with Joochan.  
_ And why? It is…  
_ That’s enough. Jaehyun, you need to stop this. I understand that you were scared and that the whole situation affected you, but now is not the time for that. I intend to have a discussion with you to clarify everything. But not now. Joochan is waiting for me and I need a break.  
_ I don’t see why you two have to be just the 2 of you…  
_ …  
_ I think they don’t need anyone to hold the candle, intervened Donghyun who had also been attracted by the noise and had come to see what was going on.

Jibeom took advantage of Jaehyun’s attention being on their teammate to slip away, apologizing mentally for letting his friends manage an unreasonable Jaehyun.  
Jaehyun was a great friend. His best friend. As long as he didn’t pronounce Joochan’s name. And if that had not been the case with his accident, he could no longer say that he had no reason to be jealous. On the contrary…  
Joochan waited for him wisely at the cafe as agreed.  
He knew that he had missed his friend this last weeks but he did not realize how much. Just a few moments in his company and he already felt his stress go away. He could have just stayed in his company doing nothing and been perfectly happy.

_ Did you have a hard time getting here?  
_ Just a little chat with the others before I left. You know how they’re always afraid something will happen to me.  
_ Ah that. You’ll have to put up with it for a while, I think.  
_ That’s okay. Where do you want to go?  
_ I am so hungry!  
_ You’re always hungry. Chicken? Or barbecue?  
_ Um… why not a real restaurant?  
_ With candles? asked Jibeom laughing.  
_ Hey?  
_ No, it’s nothing. Just something Donghyun said. Let’s go, I invite you.

Joochan replied with a happy smile. They found a good restaurant quickly. To tell the truth, Joochan had wanted to go there for a while but it wasn’t exactly cheap. Jibeom did not even blink when he saw the prices and asked the waitress to put them in a place where they could not be recognized.  
_ Didn’t you want to do karaoke?  
_ We can do one after if we want, but I just wanted to be with you.  
_ It feel like I haven’t seen you in months…  
_ Like you say… It’s weird, huh?  
_ I would almost regret that… well no, it’s good that your memory came back, I mean…  
_ I understand. There are times I would prefer that too.  
_ Really? Why?  
_ It was simpler in many ways.  
_ For example?  
_ I cared much less about what others might think. Dancing was just fun and not an obligation. I ate what I wanted.  
_ But you’re glad you got your memories back, aren’t you?  
_ Yes. Because what I am is the result of everything I have experienced with the group. And I care about the other members in a way that I certainly couldn’t have reached without those memories.  
_ No more headaches?  
_ No. Not for that anyway. I have... I have a little trouble with Jaehyun. I have to talk to him but…  
_ Is it complicated?  
_ In my head it’s clear. But as soon as I try to talk to him I panic and I don’t want to hurt him. He’s my best friend, even though he was particularly bad during my amnesia.  
_ I can listen to you if you want. It might help you if you talk about it first.  
_ Yes… but are you ready to hear what I have to say, Joo? If I were to lose you right now, I’m not sure I’d be able to recover.  
_ Idiot. You will not lose me. I intend to stay with you for the next 100 years, whether you like it or not.  
_ No matter what I do?  
_ We’re the 3355, put that in your head!  
_ But nobody takes that into account. Or really rarely.  
_ We take that into account, don’t we?  
_ Yes.  
_ So we don’t care about anybody else.

Jibeom remained silent for a long time, leaving his friend to study the menu. Was it wrong to think that he was lucky to lose his memory and get to know Joochan that way? If he hadn’t hit his head, would he ever have gotten that close to Joochan?

_ Jaehyun is jealous, he stated once the waitress was gone with their order.  
_ But this is not new. Although I never understood what caused it the first time.  
_ I was late for a date and I couldn’t tell him because I was in the subway.  
_ And he was jealous of the subway?

Jibeom giggled, shaking his head.  
_ From what I understand, he didn’t like that I was spending time talking to you in the cg when you went home after your surgery.  
_ He was jealous of that? We did nothing wrong. Besides, everyone could participate in the conversation, we were in the cg.  
_ I know that, but he… well he threw my phone out the window.  
_ … He did what?  
_ Threw my phone out the window, repeated Jibeom, shrugging.  
_ You said you dropped it!  
_ You didn’t notice it at the time but the mood wasn’t great because of it, so I didn’t want to add to it.  
_ Yeah… Why did he do that anyway?  
_ I’m not in his head. I guess it was an accumulation of little things that ended up annoying him enough to... screw a wire. He thought I wasn’t spending enough time with him and too much with you.  
_ I wasn’t even there … and I was … it felt good to talk to you.  
_ I’m not saying it makes sense. And it has the opposite effect because we didn’t talk for days after that. He wouldn’t apologize, let alone replace my phone.  
_ Oh. I didn’t know, murmured Joochan frowning. Did I make things worse when I came to the dormitories?  
_ No. It’s not your fault.  
_ Um.  
_ Shall I stop?  
_ No, keep going. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that...well, it’s okay. Keep going.

Jibeom nodded, reflecting for a moment on what he want to say before he resumed.

_ Jaehyun finally apologized and agreed to buy me a cell phone. He’s my best friend after all and we care a lot about each other. Like you and Donghyun, we can’t stay mad much longer.  
_ You’re a little less explosive in general.  
_ That is true. And so, the day of the accident, he had to come with me to pay for the phone and I wanted to take the opportunity to invite him to have a drink and to speak frankly about how we felt about each other. I thought it would solve the jealousy problem at the same time if he knew he didn’t have to worry about that.  
_ Oh. It didn’t go as planned, I guess.  
_ No. Because from the beginning he just complained. He wanted to go home to his family.  
_ Ouch.  
_ I guess he was just tired as we all were and he hadn’t seen his family in months. I wasn’t his priority at the time and he would have even left me alone with you without a thought.  
_ … I’m not sure how I should take it. Why was he jealous of me in particular? Did he do that with others too?  
_ Just with you. I guess he saw something…  
_ And so that’s when you had the accident.  
_ We were fighting, he crossed over without looking and I push him on the sidewalk before the car touched him, but like an idiot I stayed on the road. Right on the side, but that was enough for a scooter to come at me. He barely touched me in fact. If there had not been a pole I would have had nothing.  
_ It must have been awful.  
_ Jaehyun screamed I think, but I mostly remember the pain and the black after that.

Jibeom interrupted, thanking the waitress who brought them their food.

_ Daeyeol-hyung just sent me a message saying that you had an accident but that apart from a light memory loss everything was fine.  
_ Light?  
_ I saw ‘accident’ and called Donghyun to explain. It had already happened 2 days ago!  
_ Ah. I think Daeyeol had a bit of a hard time dealing with it in the first place.  
_ They didn’t want me to stay with you. They said that I needed to rest and that you were far from resting in the state you were in.

Jibeom pouted a little. Well, he was maybe a little more active at 15, he could admit it, but still…

_ I saw Sungyoon-hyung first and then they brought my parents and my brother. Fortunately, my brother was there because my parents would have taken me to Busan immediately without him.  
_ You didn’t want to?  
_ No. I love my parents but they weren’t around much when I was young. I stayed with my grandparents most of the time and they are no longer there. It would not have helped me to go back with them.  
_ But it didn’t help to get back to the dorms either.

Jibeom shrugged. Maybe. Maybe not. He didn’t know exactly what made his memory come back. What was certain was that in Busan, he would not have stayed with Joochan, so it had been beneficial to him from his point of view.  
_ Before you came to keep me company in the hospital, Jaehyun stayed with me.  
_ Really?  
_ And strangely, the feeling was not good with him.  
_ What do you mean?  
_ I don’t know. He’s my best friend and I love him, so I can’t explain that. We always got along. But I didn’t understand the way he was looking at me, I didn’t understand what he was trying to tell me. Maybe the fight and the fear I had for him right before I hit my head was so intense that this feeling stayed even when I lost my memory.  
_ I bet he didn’t like that.  
_ It wasn’t his fault. And now…  
_ And now?  
_ Now he expects everything to go back to the way it was before the accident. Except it’s not possible. My feelings for him have… changed.

Joochan had a slight high-hearted hearing these last words and stopped eating to watch his friend. Jibeom had his eyes on his plate but did not eat. He seemed to be searching for his words. Words that despite what he had said, Joochan was not sure he wanted to hear. From what he had understood, Jibeom was very much in love with Jaehyun before his accident. So now? What had changed? Could he even hope to be the cause of the change? At least in part?

_ You don’t have to talk about it…  
_ Um. How do you like the food?  
_ It’s delicious. Eat before it gets cold.  
_ Aa.

They ate in silence for a few moments. This restaurant really deserved its reputation. Joochan had rarely eaten anything of this quality.

_ How about some dessert?  
_ Do we share?

That may have been a little too much like a couple, but Jibeom accepted without difficulty.

_ The problem… it’s that Jaehyun’s feelings haven’t changed, Jibeom went on once their dessert, a cheesecake with red fruit coulis was in front of them.  
_ Is he still jealous of me?  
_ It’s even worse.  
_ But we hardly see each other lately! He has nothing to be jealous of!  
_ He has much to be jealous of, Jibeom said. Much more than before.  
_ But he… he spends all his time with you!!  
_ Yes. But I send you messages all the time and I wait for yours. I smile like an idiot when I receive them and if I receive nothing for too long I become anxious.  
_ Oh. You smile like an idiot?  
_ According to Donghyun. Sungyoon-hyung says I’m cute. Sometimes I think they forget I’m not 15 anymore. But Jaehyun…  
_ Don’t like it.  
_ At all. I would have to explain to him that I am not in love with him and that I want us to remain friends without jealousy. But, precisely, his jealousy is not totally displaced unlike before my accident.

Joochan blinked, trying to understand what Jibeom was saying to him. Did he mean what he thought? What he was feeling wasn’t one way?

_ I kissed you once when you were asleep, suddenly declared the young man, his cheeks a little red.  
_ Hey!  
_ I was 15 years old. I was convinced that you wouldn’t let me do it if I asked you. Not like that. Not with my memory everyway. And I was afraid that what I felt would go away by regaining my memory. For a long time I didn’t want to find it just in case.  
_ You kissed me!

Jibeom smirked. Was that all he could say when he admitted that he was in love with him and would gladly renounce his memory if it meant being able to keep his feelings?

_ And in case you haven’t figured it out, I’ve been in love with you for a while.  
_ Yes, yes. Me too. But I couldn’t participate in our first kiss! You can’t do that Kim Jibeom!  
_ Okay… But… if… if that’s what you want, we can share all the following ones?  
_ Is this your way of asking me out? asked Joochan, squinting.

Jibeom nodded with a shy smile, waiting for his answer with a little apprehension even though Joochan had reacted rather well so far. He wasn’t exactly planning on telling him all that tonight, but it wasn’t a bad thing. And it relieved him of a weight he didn’t even know he had.

Jibeom and Joochan returned around 11:00 that evening. They stopped at the salon where several of the members were gathered and Joochan raised their tied hands announcing the officialization of the 3355 as if they had just won several millions in the lottery, before taking Jibeom in their room decided to put into practice what they had decided a little earlier! After all, Jibeom had a kiss ahead of him!!


End file.
